


Setting herself up for heartbreak

by idontwantperfection



Category: S.W.A.T. (TV 2017), S.W.A.T. - All Media Types
Genre: Annie knows, Break Up, F/M, Family, Gen, Multi, Personal Growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26483335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idontwantperfection/pseuds/idontwantperfection
Summary: Chris breaks up with Ty and Kira, and turns up on Deacon and Annie’s doorstep...because where else would she go?(Written before season 3)
Relationships: Past Chris/Ty/Kira, hinted Chris/Street
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	Setting herself up for heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this between season 2 and 3, and now it’s AU and I’m quite firmly in the Molly/Jim camp for now so...yeah I’m not pretending I’ll finish the second part to this, even though I started it.

In the end, Deacon was right. She was setting herself up for heartbreak. 

But it wasn’t because she was dating a couple. 

Well...not just that. 

She supposed Street had been right - if she couldn’t tell them about Champ, who was arguably the most important person in her life... If she didn’t think they’d understand that, was that relationship really where she wanted to be forevermore?

She’d put herself out there. Been open to the whole poly arrangement. Told her family she was dating a couple. 

But she couldn’t tell them about her dog who didn’t live with her anymore, because she didn’t think they’d get why she’d given him away. Why she’d let him live out his retirement surrounded by a family, with a big garden and kids to love on him all day while she was at work. 

And once she saw that, she couldn’t unsee the rest of it. 

This job had the power to kill new relationships. There were only so many times you could miss date night. So many times you could bail _halfway_ _through_ date night. So many times you could turn up with injuries you couldn’t explain.

_ Bruised jaw - suspect threw a cabinet as they ran and we were in our casuals... _

_ Big ass bruise on your shoulder - Kevlar might be bulletproof but the impact still stings… _

_ Sore ribs, tender ankle, burst lip - the only way to avoid a terrorist attack was to tackle the would-be bomber and throw you both down a flight of stairs… _

Logically, she knew it didn’t need to be like this. Plenty of cops were married. SWAT and single life were not mutually exclusive concepts. 

Deac and Annie made it work under far more stress than she had. Tan and Bonnie were solid. Even Mumford managed to keep them around long enough to get married a few times.

But the impact on her relationship was obvious. 

It was  _ more _ than obvious. 

Before, she was familiar with the signs. The disappointment. The resentment for her job. The jealousy aimed at Street - from the girls and the guys - everyone ended up feeling threatened by her best friend. 

But this was different. Maybe that’s why she took so long to notice, and even longer to admit it. 

Ty and Kira weren’t upset or resentful when she bailed on date night - because they still went out. 

It didn’t matter if they didn’t see her for two weeks because she was pulling extra nightshifts as part of a four way switch that let Deac claim OT. Because  _ they _ still saw each other.

They weren’t threatened by Street...well because they hadn’t properly met him. And even if they had, they were polyamourous. She’d be as likely to encounter being encouraged to pursue it, alone or as a four, as she would anything else. 

Ty and Kira wanted her to be an equal part of their relationship - their third. But recently, she just felt like a third wheel. 

It was no one’s fault. Except maybe hers. 

You could only miss so many dates. So many nights in. Then you realise you don’t have all the inside jokes. The experiences. You’re missing from the ‘remember that time’, not because it pre-dates you, but because you were too busy at work.

And then there was this weekend. The straw that broke the camel’s back. That led her to Deac’s house in tears. That made Annie take one look at her before handing her her goddaughter and heading to the kitchen to make some spiked tea. 

She doesn’t know how it didn’t come up before. In her other relationships, it was broached once things started getting serious. 

That was the thing about dating guys and girls, she needed to have realistic expectations. Not everyone wants kids. She gets that. 

Guys, it was usually a simple yes or no. 

Girls, it was more complicated. A lot were no. Some wanted to consider options. Some were dead set on it. 

Chris personally, she wouldn’t mind kids. Eventually. With the right person. If it happened. If it didn’t, she’d be okay.

So why did this hurt so much.

“Okay.” Annie clasped her hands together as she dropped onto the sofa next to Chris, folding her leg under herself. Chris felt a pang of admiration, four months before Annie had been cut in half at the bikini line, but as a mom of four, you'd never know it. “We both know I struggled with the whole...threesome thing, but you’re our friend and we are here for you. I haven’t seen you like this in a long time Chris. What happened?”

Chris let out a breath and threw Annie a half smile. ‘Struggled’ was an understatement. At one point she feared she’d be relieved of her godmother duties. But after a couple of hard conversations, and she suspects a fair bit of encouragement from Deac, they were back on track. 

Looking down at Victoria, Chris sighed heavily as she admitted, “Street was right...they weren’t the right relationship for me. If I’m being honest, I knew that before I moved in. I mean...why else would I sub-let my apartment? I could have just broken the lease. Super only needed two months notice.”

Chris continued to study Victoria, letting the baby chew on her finger as she bit the inside of her lip. She could see Deac watching her carefully, putting the pieces together before Chris said anything. Part of her was thankful - this was why she’d come here. They were her team, her family, they knew her better than anyone else. 

That didn’t make this any easier. 

“...There was a pregnancy scare.”

Chris kept her eyes on the baby as she let that bombshell land. She had to give Annie points - if there was any horror, Chris didn’t hear it. But she gave her a few moments to react and rearrange her expression just to be safe.

“You or Kira?”

Chris was surprised when it was Annie that spoke. Taking a chance to look up, Chris was almost surprised when she was met with nothing but motherly concern. Deac had the same expression on his face, except his was tinged with sadness. He clearly remembered their first conversation about being poly. If it was his daughter bringing home a couple. He clearly found no joy in being right. 

“Me.” Chris shrugged, as if it wasn’t the most terrifying thing she’d ever faced. “False alarm. But it opened all these other thoughts and feelings and I suddenly couldn’t hide from the problems I’d been avoiding with the relationship. And that was before I told Ty and Kira…”

Chris went back to paying attention to Victoria, glad to have something to focus on other than the drama at hand. She was so small. So innocent. The people in her life were her whole world and it was up to them to help her shape it.

“So despite being with them almost eight months, we never really had the ‘baby’ conversation. Turns out Kira is dead set against kids. And Ty never thought about it because with Kira it wasn’t an option.”

Chris felt like that had been the understatement of the year. Kira had been horrified. Not because it would have been Chris having Ty’s baby…the horror was just because it was a baby.

Maybe it would have been different in another relationship. Maybe it wouldn’t. 

But when she was faced with two of them completely horrified...of course it turned into an argument. Of course it felt like her vs them. 

Objectively she knew it was okay that they felt like that. Everyone was allowed a position on parenthood. 

But  _ they’d _ had that conversation. Reached that decision. 

She hadn’t.

“But before I’d even broached it with them I started thinking. If they had a baby, I’d have no claim to it. They’re the ones getting married, not me. There’s no space on the birth certificate or school forms or doctors applications for ‘mommy and daddy’s girlfriend’. I’d be there, I’d raise it and love it with all my heart...but best case scenario, legally I’m a stepmom if I’m lucky. This isn’t worrying about being in a relationship that predates you, this is about something happening in that relationship, after you’ve joined, that you are totally excluded from.”

Except that she was worrying about a scenario that wasn’t an option. That’s how they’d put it when she’d had that outburst. Spun away from them, keeping the kitchen island between them and gripping her hair, trying not to cry.

_I don’t know why you’re worried, Chris. That’s never going to happen because I don’t want kids._ _I can’t disprove a negative! You’re worried about a kid that won’t exist._

“...and if I’m being one hundred percent honest?” Chris locked eyes with Deac, almost pleading with him not to say I told you so. “I couldn’t see myself raising a kid with them. Mine or Kira’s. When I think of having kids...of growing up and being a mom...right now that daydream has a guy in it. Singular. No third in sight. Unless you count a rehomed ex-police dog.”

Over a year later, Chris was still looking for a new canine partner. She was starting to think she’d never find a dog she’d mesh with again. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t offer a veteran a good retirement when she slowed down herself.

Annie laughed, pulling Chris into a one armed hug. Chris wasn’t sure what was so funny, and clearly neither did Deacon judging by the raised eyebrow he was shooting at his wife. Annie shook her head as she gave Chris a reassuring squeeze. “Please tell me that guy doesn’t have short hair and thing for motorbikes.”

Chris knew there would be some relief in there somewhere, knowing that the ‘threesome thing’ was done with. It wasn’t that Annie had an issue with Chris’ sexuality - she’d met ex-girlfriends, and still trades recipes with one of them - the ‘poly thing’ was just ‘too weird’. 

That was the one thing she was thankful for when it came to her work family, they always worked it out. Sure, Annie wasn’t one hundred percent comfortable. But she was trying. It was all she’d asked of her aunts and uncles too. And some of them had had much worse reactions.

Although now Annie was sounding more like her Uncle Sarzo whose only response was ‘So what happened to that Jim you brought to dinner? He was good for you.’

And now Annie was on that scent, Chris was a goner.

“Miniature Street? Now that is a nightmare I’d rather not spend too much time on.” Thankfully, Deac saved her from having to answer. From having to think about whether or not the guy in her daydream - the daydream that had only been around since she’d missed her period - really was Street…or if it just looked like him. 

Because really….

Broad shoulders. Short brown hair. SWAT T-shirt and combats. 

It could be anyone.

Right? 

“So.” Deacon pulled her from her thoughts as he shared a meaningful look with Annie. “What happens now? The only decision you need to make tonight is whether you want to bunk with Lila, or if you want the sofa.”

“I already made that decision before I got here, Deac.” Chris sighed and pulled Victoria closer instinctively. Deacon suddenly had a feeling he’d be more worried about her now she was out of the throuple than he was before. “I think I’ll need you and Luca to go pick up my stuff. I know I’ll need to talk to them at some point, but I’d rather let things cool down first. I said...I said a lot of things.” 

Chris paused when she heard movement behind Deacon, looking around her second she caught sight of blonde hair and a pink bathrobe peeking around the door. This time, the smile that lit up her face was entirely genuine, “And I don’t think I’ll have a choice about sleeping arrangements. Why would I say no to a sleepover with my girl.”


End file.
